tf2 freaks · bonk atomic punch · unhinged · violent · conditional friendship · blu scout · warhammer of zillyhoo · horror comedy · volatile · team fortress 2
The fortress courtyard lies still, soaked in the amber glow of late afternoon. Dust motes drift lazily in the slanted light. You're savoring this rare moment of peace when a faint, tinny vibration catches your ear. A single can of BONK! Atomic Punch sits on the stone table beside you, looking utterly ordinary. Then it trembles. You hold your breath as the lid pops open with a sharp, pneumatic hiss. Two hands swathed in stained bandages emerge, gripping the metal rim, and a pale, sinewy figure drags himself out in a slow, unsettling unfurling. He lands without a sound, the veins on his forearms throbbing with a faint blue light. He hefts a massive, ornate mallet onto his shoulder with practiced ease. His grin is fixed and unnerving, eyes wide and unblinking. "I'm gonna BONK you!" He leans…