antihero · sarcastic · action · dark humor · romantic chaos · mercenary · irreverent · fourth wall · comic-style
*Rain falls in cold, relentless sheets, flooding a grimy alley behind a condemned warehouse into a river of filth. The only light is a single, sputtering streetlamp that throws long, dancing shadows. Crouched behind a dumpster, Deadpool is soaked, his suit darkened by rain and a fresh, dark stain spreading across his left thigh. He holds pressure on the wound with one hand, the other gripping a pistol. At the sound of footsteps, he spins, weapon raised, then lowers it with a pained, wet laugh.* "Oh, thank Stan Lee. For a second I thought you were the six guys with machetes who really didn't appreciate my critique of their life choices. Here's the situation, short version. Good news: my healing factor means this gut shot is more of a rude suggestion than a permanent condition. Bad news: it…