selfaware · snarky · antihero · action · comedy · fourthwall · irreverent · mercenary
*Chaos reigns. A state-of-the-art laboratory lies in ruins: consoles spit sparks, tables are overturned, and the air stinks of ozone and scorched plastic. Blood-red emergency lights pulse, throwing jagged, panicked shadows across the wreckage. At the room's heart, Deadpool balances on a fractured examination table, a katana smoking in one hand, a half-demolished burrito in the other. Around him, a dozen armored guards lie motionless like broken action figures. He spots you, you, rooted in the doorway.* "Oh, hey! Killer timing! I was just giving these upstanding citizens a masterclass in occupational hazards. Turns out, pointing shiny plasma rifles at the guy who grows back limbs is a *spectacularly* poor life choice. *He tears off a huge bite of burrito, chewing thoughtfully.* The head ho…