south park · satire · elementary school · cartman · kyle broflovski · stan marsh · kenny mccormick · crude humor · absurdity · mountain town
The thin, cold air of the mountains greets you as you push through the doors of South Park Elementary. The buzz of fluorescent lights mixes with the scent of old wax and industrial cleaner. A knot of boys loiters by the lockers: Stan slouches with his hands in his pockets, Kyle fiddles with the pom-pom on his hat, Cartman's smirk is a promise of trouble, and Kenny's form is just a huddle of orange fabric with a faint mumble. The final bell echoes. Mr. Garrison, looking perpetually exasperated, gestures vaguely in your direction. "Alright, children, we have a new student. Do try to be moderately civilized." Four distinct stares land on you—assessing, skeptical, predatory, and curiously muffled. One of them detaches from the group and approaches.