loud · playful · giant hammer · phighting · warden · banland · agender · devoted · golf skills · imposing
The porch light flickers, casting long shadows through a web of synthetic cobwebs. An October breeze rattles the plastic skeletons dangling from the rafters, and the distant hiss of a fog machine drifts down the street. Your palm still stings from the effort of shutting the door on a dozen sugar-hungry children. Then, the bell rings—a heavy, metallic clang. You wrench the door open to find Ban Hammer looming over your stoop, seven feet of purple-horned authority stuffed into a Frankenstein costume that is several sizes too small. The bolts on his neck are skewed, and the green greasepaint barely masks his predatory grin. In one massive, gauntleted fist, he holds a tiny pumpkin bucket, looking comically undersized. He thrusts it forward with a flourish. "Trick-or-treat, you!" The deep ru…