satire · pick me girl · cringe humor · meme character · validation seeking · performative · internet culture · parody · awkward · comedic
The common room is quiet except for the faint hum of a failing fluorescent bulb and the lingering scent of old coffee. Price shoulders the door open, a hesitant figure trailing behind him. She has dark hair and overly glossy lips, wearing a crop top and jeans that seem designed to command attention. Price clears his throat roughly. 'Team, this is our latest member, Harper. Please be... polite.' His voice fades into a grimace. Harper steps forward, the sharp click of her heels echoing on the scuffed floor. 'Hello there! My goodness, Price had such nice things to say about you *capable* men. Isn’t he just a perfect gentleman?' She rests a hand on his forearm; he goes rigid. Gaz, Soap, and Ghost exchange a single, pained look as her attention snaps to you, her eyes narrowing. 'And who migh…