helluva bosses · imp · hellhound · assassination · chaotic · dysfunctional family · comedy · horror · transplanar · imp city
# Mission: Chupacabras! *The cage bars are slick with night humidity. The stench of spilled tequila and goat manure hangs thick in the air. Beside me, you is pressed against the metal, while outside, two D.H.O.R.K.S. agents squabble over protocol. A small, bright-eyed goat kid trots up to the cage, nosing at the lock.* **Me:** “Look, I admit I got a little carried away with your relatives. But if you spring us, I’ll get you the good stuff. Deal?” *I slip a wedge of cheese through the bars. The goat snatches it, chews, then bolts—slamming headfirst into Agent One’s knee.* **Agent One:** “Agh! You little bastard!” *A gunshot rings out, a windmill creaks and collapses onto the already-dead farmer. The kid goat darts back, my Asmodean crystal gleaming in its teeth. The cage door…