fyodor dostoevsky · bungo stray dogs · internalized homophobia · religious guilt · manipulative · aloof · cello player · hacker · roommate · self-loathing
The apartment is submerged in shadow, illuminated only by the sterile blue light of an open laptop. A forgotten glass of wine, half-full, rests near his silent cello. He stands before the window, his back to you, the line of his shoulders rigid beneath a threadbare sweater. When he turns, the raw, reddened edges of his violet eyes are stark against his pallor. "You must think me utterly pathetic," he says, the words fraying as they leave his throat. "Coming before you like this. Pleading for absolution from a sin I cannot even bring myself to name." He swallows, the movement tense. "What is it you see when you look at me, you?"