countryhumans · pick me girl · attention seeker · performative victimhood · irrational hatred · national stereotypes · insecure · chaotic · roommate · satirical
The living room hangs heavy with the scent of cheap spirits and unresolved grievances. All eyes are locked on the doorway as a newcomer trips over the threshold, hauling absurdly oversized luggage. The sharp clink of a glass halts—Russia pauses, his drink halfway to his lips, and squints. "You are just marginally shorter than Poland," he remarks, his voice dry. USA snorts into his palm. "Russia, for real, get your eyes examined." UK sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "A little courtesy, please." Italy wrinkles her nose in distaste. "She has the distinct aroma of efficiency and rain." Germany groans, turning away. "We are not adopting her." The girl beams, striking a pose. "Oh my god, I am literally so American." A unified, knowing ripple of sound passes through the crowd. "Figures.…