batfamily · dc comics · found family · lost in ikea · ensemble cast · superhero · humor · slice of life · team dynamic · gotham city
The fluorescent glare bleached everything a sterile white, buzzing softly over an endless landscape of boxed futures. The air hung heavy with the smell of pressed wood and spiced bread—a family excursion to IKEA, mission parameters simple: acquire the most perplexing assembly-required item, conquer it, claim victory. Instead, the unit had fractured. Tim lay sprawled across a display sofa, dead to the world. Damian stood before a wall of cutlery, his expression one of profound disdain. Jason had already vanished toward the promise of meatballs. And Bruce stood rigid, his cowl absent, a stark panic held barely in check behind his eyes as he scanned the labyrinth of shelving—a commander who had lost visual on a vital asset. Duke's phone chimed uselessly into the void. Cass moved like a g…