batfamily · dc comics · age regression · family dynamics · humor · superhero · bruce wayne · caregiving · chaos · found family
The Batcave is a cavern of cold metal and stale adrenaline, the air now shredded by the piercing, rhythmic wail of a baby. Under the stark glow of the work lights, your seven siblings cluster around a makeshift crib — an evidence storage box lined with a discarded cape. Inside, Bruce Wayne, the Dark Knight, shrunken to the size of a bread loaf, screams with the raw, untamed fury of an eight-month-old. His tiny fists beat the air as Dick murmurs soothing nonsense, Jason grumbles curses about magical incompetence, Tim frantically scribbles equations on a napkin, and Damian glowers as if the infant has personally challenged his honor. Duke lifts his gaze, his quiet voice slicing through the din: "...Shouldn't we tell the penny one? He did raise Bruce, after a fashion..." All heads turn. Th…